Why should Christian school leaders pursue their PhD (or EdD)? In this blog, having recently completed a PhD in Educational Studies at Talbot School of Theology, Biola University, I aim to encourage others who are beginning their doctoral journey, those currently persevering in it, and those who need to be reminded that the PhD is not their greatest work but the first of many more that must follow. I first detail what a PhD program feels like before exploring how to experience a PhD program Christianly by clarifying purpose, grieving loss, and sharing learning for the mutual benefit of others.
What Does a PhD Program Feel Like?
I first speak here to leisure athletes, ordinary human beings who are pursuing a PhD while managing families and busy lives with their work and vocations. If you are a professional or endurance athlete, this analogy may not fully land. If my master’s program was about building up the running stamina and commitment for my first 10 km distance, my PhD program felt more like training for my first competitive race distance somewhere between a half- and full marathon.
It had elements of sprints and challenging hills. It included moments of hard hill-training of reading articles from key theorists and learning to speak the language of statistics. There were seasons of depleted energy and enthusiasm for my research topic. Running downhill and recovering felt like moments of silence where a fresh perspective flooded in. Training with others brought renewal. This journey would not have been possible without friends, colleagues, and family supporting me, nor without classmates who helped set the pace by creating shared practice together (such as here and here), and whose persevering prayers carried us through each course.
What did the PhD program feel like? It felt much more like training and practice rather than a one-day performance. It is for those who want to have their lives transformed by people and by context. I found my faith and identity, knowledge and skills, and kingdom network connections expanded in a way that my master’s program did not provide. What emerged was a clearer Christian personal and communal identity, one I now feel called to share with others.
Clarifying Your Purpose
One of the first activities shared with us in the devotional context of John 15:1-7’s abiding in Christ was the 4D’s: (1) Drop, (2) Delegate, (3) Diminish, and (4) Delay, in that order. It was spiritual work to prioritize what mattered most in our lives while pursuing the dissertation program. I made choices to work closer to home, paused some of my athletics coaching, engaged in greater followership rather than only leadership within church ministry, and postponed any new TV seasons for the joy of returning to them upon completion of the program. I needed time and space each day to be reminded of my purpose, which was only possible by eliminating the distractions.
The majority of my writing took place during the early hours of the morning (ie, 4:30-5:45 am) as that best suited my habits of practice and schedule with a young family. Each morning, my boys would wake up and ask me, “Dad, when are you going to be done with your dissertation?” On one occasion, my older son asked me, “Dad, what is your dissertation about?” It was in that moment of child-like curiosity that I was reminded who I was doing this work for. I needed to sustain a clear purpose with the simplicity and precision a child could understand, while holding the incredible depth required to explore the lived experiences of Christian leaders. I said to my kids, “My goal is to help Christian school leaders have faith when things don’t go their way.” In other words, my study is about how leaders and their communities practice adapting faithfully in the unplanned disruption that occurs within organizational change. I began asking curious questions about, “Where do change leaders and communities of change get the power and energy needed to adapt in a continuously changing world?”
Grieving Through Your Experiences
One of my colleagues, who was also a PhD student in a different program at the same time, passed away while we were both completing our coursework. We wrote some articles together and designed a partnership between the university and field experiences that was intended to put our learning into practice. I felt like I lost a teammate, even though the project we have been working on has lived on in practice. Who you do the work with shapes your journey, including doing your work while listening to God. There were moments of setback, loss, doubt, and unmet expectations. Through it all, God remained faithful and present. As I began to study leaders’ experiences of leading change in their communities, I saw more clearly how moments of loss were places where some of the energy for change leadership was generated.
My wife and I sold our place a week before I shared my proposal defense. It was an intense time as I ended up getting sick and unable to do much except lie in bed for several days. I was barely well enough to share my presentation, but that was the date we had set on the calendar. My community showed up to support me, but I was only a fraction of myself; that moment of loss inspired me to bounce back in my field research and in preparation for the final defense. Though I was approved to conduct my field research, I was disappointed in myself for not being able to bring my full self. God taught me to mourn these moments of insufficiency but also find energy for persisting by abiding in him in the midst of them.
Sharing Your Findings
I wanted the work to be about helping others gain perspective on change within their networked communities. Thus, with the help of online conference technology, I invited participants from all over the world to my final defense presentation. In the weeks leading up to the final defense, I practiced parts of my presentation with anyone willing to share feedback with me, much like running different sections of a marathon. Although presenting to my dissertation committee was the primary task, I intentionally included colleagues, educational leaders locally, participants from my study, family, and aspiring researchers to reach a wide audience. I also had each of those different groups in mind while shaping the presentation. When we write, we know some things, but when we speak it and live it, it is a truer test of what has become a part of us.
I also used this outreach to others to establish new partners. At my final defense, I proposed the Christian Leadership Change Institute as a solution to the critical outcomes from my dissertation study. I am next inviting partners to reach out with interest in being a part of this network learning experience to help shape current and future generations of Christian school change leaders.
What I Learned From the Experience
On several occasions, I have complained about my running injuries to my wife. At those moments, she reminded me that when you run, you are more prone to injury and need to strength or resistance train. I was reminded about this important aspect of leading change in Christian schools. Resistance was expressed differently in Christian learning communities, making it an important variable for me to consider in my study. As I studied resistance training, I practiced it better in my running routine and in my Christian learning community. It is one of the areas of practice I wrote about, where we can harness the energy within resistance productively for change. I found from my empirical field research that we forget about the force of resistance. Yet I also found places where Christian school leaders had generated, with the agency of the Holy Spirit, the energy needed to help their communities adapt faithfully: communal discernment, relationship building, network connections, and hope in loss.
In fact, my faith has experienced a renewal through doing this resistance work in the form of my dissertation. I invite others to consider what may be holding them back from starting a dissertation, finishing it faithfully, or sharing more about it for the good of others.
